I must have had a sour look on my face, because my friend asked me if something was wrong. There was, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her. I’d spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out if Ducktales and Darkwing Duck exist in the same universe. — sonofmog
I wake up, every day... right here. -
I made this one night while I was pondering the true nature of the internet and it’s relation to Bill Murray. Yes, I realize it has typos.
Sometimes when I watch the Lord of the Rings movies I just have to sit back and really admire and respect the amount of time and effort it must have taken Tolkien to fully flesh-out and realize such a beautiful, enormous and fantastical world with all manner of interesting creatures and characters all living in constant fear of a giant lighthouse. — sonofmog
I remember fondly working in a hotel for a time. I used to play this game where if a guest was being truly beastly to us (i’m talking Skeletor evil here), I would ask them if they needed any help carrying their bag. If they said yes (the most foul people always did), I would come out from behind the desk hobbling on a cane that was left by a guest years ago and pick up their suitcase.
When they would begin to protest I would just say “Sir, this is my job, ok? This is all I have.” Then I’d really put on a show struggling with the luggage, occasionally letting the particularly fragile-looking things get dropped.
Reach the person’s room completely sweaty and out of breath.
WHY YES, I ACCEPT TIPS. THANK YOU, SIR. — sonofmog
If you were the President of the United States, I bet you’d get pretty hungry working such long hours meeting with foreign dignitaries and such. That’s why if it were me I’d have a big red button with a timer installed on my desk that says “NUKE” rigged to a microwave hidden inside the desk. — me
I apologize for not writing very often over the last week or so. I’ve been in the process of working my day job well into the night and am now in the middle of moving apartments. In truth I haven’t been venting my brain waves properly and now have a fukushima-type situation up there in the old hat rack. Once my schedule calms down a bit you can expect some more regularly timed releases of these slightly toxic emissions up into the internets to relieve some of the pressure.
Thanks to the literally dozens of people that have followed me over the last few weeks. I hope you continue to enjoy me making an ass of myself long into the future. When all of this started on the reddit I was a bit like this guy:
But now, thanks to you, when I’m on the twitter or the tumblr I feel more and more like this guy.
It’s been awesome. Thanks.
I know the salesperson in the eyeglasses store thought the looks I was giving her were kind of strange, but how else am I going to test out these frames? Half the reason you wear glasses is to be able to take them off dramatically and look super serious all of a sudden. — me
Employee Snowglobe -
Occasionally I like to give out little seasonal gifts to my employees to recognize their contributions and to let them know I can see what they are doing.
I remember fondly the first and last time I tried pretending I was a narwhal in the public pool. Those old gals in the water aerobics class had the time of their lives. — me
Come the apocalypse, your crude paper money will be worthless. That’s why my retirement fund consists entirely of Magic the Gathering cards. No matter what happens to the global economy, some guy in a black t-shirt will be always there to barter with me for my Black Lotus (Alpha). — me